It is offensive to call any woman “shiao jie”(or in Pinyin, xiao jie) these days. Since maybe ten years ago "shiao jie" has carried the implication of being a prostitute(before that "shiao jie" is equivalent to Miss). And "da ge", "shiao ge", "da di", "shao di" are not proper addresses. "Da ge" is usually related to gangs in cities, and in rural areas it can be used to address a man who is older than you. "Xiao ge" is not used now, except for humorous effect. "Da di" is an old-old-old-fashioned word for your biggest little brother. "Shiao di" is the exact opposite of "da ge". You can call any waitor, either male or female, "fu wu yuan".
P.S. why can't I agree or comment here? I read through the FAQ section yet found no answer.