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There is a computer library ('Wudi gender guesser') to predict the gender of a Chinese name, based on statistics of the use of individual Kanji caracters in Male/Female given names. This approach accounts for both for the meaning and the sound. There is an online version here http://namesorts.com/2014/03/27/chinese-name-gender-guesser-api/
A proper term would be 情夫: 男女两人,一方或双方已有配偶,他们之间发生性爱的行为,男方是女方的情夫 小三 can also be applied to a male as it means the third party in an affair or 第三者. 二公 and 二爺 are informal terms opposite to 二奶. 小白脸 does not necessarily refers to a man who has committed adultery with a married woman. It can also mean the the guy is living off the woman or that the guy has ...
Sadly there are no such rules since customs varies from parts of China to other parts. And in different times, there were different trends. So there are no strict rules to follow. There are just patterns which loosely apply but with many exceptions. For example, 红(red) is thought to be more common in female names when it is the last character of a name. ...
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