What is the exact meaning of 吃豆腐, and where does the expression come from?

Question

I'm not talking about eating tofu, but the expression that means something more like taking advantage of someone. What exactly does 吃豆腐 mean, and where does this expression come from?

Answer 1

I've only heard it used in describing sexual situations, and wiktionary.org describes its usage as follows:

This idiom usually only refers to a man taking advantage of a woman in a sexual situation.

A typical example would be some creepy guy pinching the flight attendant's backside as she walks past.

There's also a good discussion at wordreference.com.

不要吃我豆腐 is telling someone not to take advantage of me, but specifically in a sexual way, as in inappropriate touches etc. However, the accusation is not very serious in Chinese, and sometimes said in a joking manner. I would translate it as "Don't harasse me!", "Get your hands off me!" etc., but understand that the Chinese expression is softer.

I found an origin story on chinese-forums.com, but I'm not sure how reliable it is.

It’s said that tofu shops usually were run by wife and husband in the old days. Female boss in a tofu shop took tofu as their daily food, which made their skin tender and smooth. On one hand their fine skin helped attract more customers, on the other hand it showed some kind of coquetry to them. Men liked to take “to eat tofu” as an excuse to go to a tofu shop and flirt with the female boss there, verbally or even physically. Therefore, wives, feeling jealous, scolded their husbands, “Today, you went to eat tofu again?!” Now, “eating tofu” has become a word to describe man flirts with woman.

Answer 2

吃豆腐 refers to sexual harassment or men being frivolous with women.

Apparently it refers to a Tofu-shop a long time ago where the husbands rubs the tofu at night and the wife sells it during the day. To sell more tofu the wife flirts with her customers and the customers even grope her. The jealous wives of these "customers" will afterwards complain to their husbands: "So you went out to eat tofu again"

Edit: I can't find the real source of the story, but you can find it on many Chinese sites. It's probably a tale. About the translation, there are many possible gradations. I can go from "I (will) take advantage of you" to "I'll molest you" (actually it can both be in the past, the present or the future). Sometimes 吃豆腐 can also mean to crack a joke, but it's not the most common translation.

Answer 3

There's a section about the history of the term 「吃豆腐」on Wikipedia. I have translated some of it.

「吃豆腐」can have two meanings:

1. take advantage of somebody

   In Jiangsu and Zhejiang, there's a tradition to treat family members and neighbors who have helped in the funeral with thick tofu soup. Some people goofing around will come over for a meal as if they've helped.

2. take advantage of somebody sexually (this usage is more common nowadays.)

   About the same as Don Kirkby♦'s answer.

1. 作為佔便宜的委婉詞

「吃豆腐」作為佔便宜的委婉詞，可追溯到中國江浙一帶的俚語詞彙「吃豆腐羹」，喪事完結後，喪家會請曾經幫忙過的鄉親吃齋菜。有些悠手好閒者，會借詞說「曾經幫忙」而佔喪家便宜，一同赴宴。由於齋菜宴席上大多會有一道「豆腐羹」的菜色出現，所以有「吃豆腐」一詞的出現，形容這些無恥地佔人家便宜的人。

2. 作為性騷擾的委婉詞

吃豆腐作為「調戲」和「性騷擾」的委婉詞彙，有兩種說法。

第一種說法源於西漢時期。當時豆腐剛剛流行於民間，而京城街上有一個夫妻合開的豆腐店。那店舖的老闆娘為吸引顧客，有時會做出賣弄風情的行為，並吸引到一群男人以「吃豆腐」為藉口到豆腐店調戲老闆娘。

第二種說法與第一種說法大致相同，但源於清代小說「驚夢啼」。小說裏有一位叫名為春桃的豔色女子。她經營賣豆腐的生意，亦愛與男人打情罵俏，所以會有男性顧客專程來「買豆腐」，但實則調戲那位老闆娘。

Answer 4

You are all experts on chinese culcure. But allow me to add some comment. Another Chineses expression regarding 吃我豆腐 is 占我便宜,which also means taking advantage of me. But in the contemporary era, girls use 吃我豆腐 to expecially describe some one touched her boobs. Because they bear great similarities in both appearance and feel.

Answer 5

Used to refer to men who just want sex from a woman.