长患 should be 长相 and 鸣 should be 叫, but they appear too many times that the possibility of them being typos is close to nil.
Again, normally we would say 于是 instead of 以是, 时候 instead of 时辰, 毫不犹豫 instead of 绝不夷由, and I think 格外 instead of 出格. I don't even understand what's 上往打: is 上往 上前?
I know Cantonese makes extensive use of 几多, but other sentences don't look like they're Cantonese. And isn't 曩昔 archaic? The reason I find this article so funny and interesting is that it is so colloquial, yet at the same time so archaic or formal.
What? 掉臂? As in 自在?
Can you really use 年夜 as a verb like that?
This sounds rather formal and archaic.
Of course I am not endorsing these statements or anything, just saw them somewhere on the internet and find them amusing. Are these sentences written in some dialects/topolects or an unusual form of standard Chinese? Or are they internet slang?