I met a woman four or so years younger to me at a conference (not work related). After getting to know her slightly more I later sent a text agreeing to meet tomorrow with "好吧 明天见 小妹". We briefly discussed our age difference prior for some reason.

My intention was to be playful and friendly with "younger sister". Is 小妹 rude and / or completely unfitting in this situation?

  • 大姐 a polite form of address for a woman about one's own age
    – user6065
    Aug 2 '17 at 0:30
  • 1
    大姐 is another bad calling...all women want to be call younger.you can call her 美女.btw.it is 明天见.not 间
    – J.Wang
    Aug 2 '17 at 1:24
  • 大姐 merely implies respect
    – user6065
    Aug 2 '17 at 1:43
  • @J.Wang ah yes 间 was an error due to quick typing. Fixed!
    – Growler
    Aug 2 '17 at 3:00
  • If she knows who you are, like a foreigner living in China learning Chinese now, she won't mind at all. Even between two Chinese people, this address is not offensive, inappropriate to some point, though. Aug 2 '17 at 12:37

Just call her 姑娘

If she does not have business relations with you, it is absolutely OK.

Sometimes 小妹 is romantic involved, so it is not fit formal speaking.

小妹 is not very popular nowadays since it can be vague sometimes, but many chinese words can be vague like 小姐(young woman, also means whore), but 小姐 is still used in business and formal.

Here is a list you can use from the very formal to very rude and cursing.

女士 (formal)

小姐 (careful, also means whore outside business environment)


妹子, 小妹, 老妹 (younger than you)

姐, 大姐 (older than you)

小妞 (rude, you don't want to be friends)

娘们, 小娘们, 老娘们(very rude, you want to have row)

破鞋 (dissipated and unconventional, you want to have a fight)

婊子(whore, you want to have a war)


do not use it,it is very insulting.小妹 is associated to some prositutte nowadays.if you get into a KTV ordered some girls you can call them 小妹.and you do not need to appologize or explain for you had called her that,it only makes this worse.you just ignore that and do not call her like again.


A woman whom you want to respect should be called: 女杰.  This is a woman of distinction/woman to be admired/respected.

You could also call her 女士 which is something like Miss, but perhaps a little bit too formal for your situation.

If you don't like either of them, you can always add the 阿 prefix and give her a name to your liking (something friendly), or make a play on words with her name even.

Some other terms of address (though imo usually reserved for between males) are 狗子 or 老兄.

You could perhaps call her 英雌 还是 那个好像的  鹰雌体  I mean you could say haha that she is 女磁体 and that your pole is attracted to her haha =))

  • Abe can you fix your formatting please? The letter spacing is hard to read. Thank you!
    – Growler
    Aug 2 '17 at 3:29
  • gou zi ????????????
    – Abe Shudug
    Aug 2 '17 at 6:21

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