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English:
If we, all the students, never had our teachers, we would never be able to stand and speak Chinese in front of an audience.
My variation in Chinese:
如果我们，所有的学生，没有我们的中文老师，我们就永远不能站起来在听众前面说中文。
I want to know if this sentence is correctly translated and makes sense in terms of Chinese grammar.
P.S. This is for a spoken performance in a competition. I would also like to know if I can actually say it like this.
"如果我们，[所有的学生]，没有[我们的中文]老师，我们就[永远]不能站[起来]在听众前面说中文。"
[ ] parts can be omitted.
Subject and object can often be omitted to make the speech flow smoother.
The first 我们 already indicated 'all the students' therefore '所有的学生' is not needed.
No need to state it is 'our Chinese language teachers' (我们的中文老师) just '老师' is enough, we know whose teachers they are and what subject they teach from the context.
永远 is not needed, the phrase 'if there's no teachers, we can't...' already indicated 'never'
不能站[起来]在听众前面说中文。" = "stand up and speak Chinese in front of the audience" can be reduced to "stand in front of the audience and speak Chinese"
面前 is better than 前面 for 'in front of' when you mean 'facing' ; '站在听众前面' could mean you are facing the same direction with the audience
It would make your speech more native sounding:
"如果没有老师，我们就不能站在听众面前说中文(了)。"
The first '我们' can be omitted because the subject is clearly indicated in the following sentence. We don't need to repeat the subject in the same context.
(add final particle '了' to make the sentence sound complete)
To construct a fluent sentence, you should look for anything that can be omitted, as long as the meaning remain unchanged.
如果没有老师，我们——所有学生——就绝不可能在听众面前说中文。
I think that "all the students" must be translated and not omitted; here it is used for emphasis. And "would never be able to " is 绝不可能。
Actually we should consider re-arranging the structure of the sentence, and remove some redundant emphasizing expressions, to conform it naturally to Chinese speaking habit, a.e.
Change:
If we, all the students, never had our teachers, we would never be able to stand and speak Chinese in front of an audience.
To:
Had it not been our Chinese teachers, we all the students would never be able to stand and speak Chinese in front of an audience.
如果不是因为我们的中文老师，我们这些学生是不可能站在观众面前说中文的。
Note the expression "would never be able to" is translated into "不可能" in favor of "永远不能" as the original sentence is to stress on the impossibility rather than the infinity of time. Also, "all the students" is translated into "这些学生" instead of "所有学生" to avoid it from racing against "不可能", which is the main stress of the sentence.
