Is it common to call a waiter "朋友"?

Question

I'm in China and many staffs at cafes or bars call me "朋友" to get my attention, for example to bring the food to my table or ask me to hand in my AliPay screen. But on the other hand, it seems always "服务员" if a customer calls a staff, not "朋友".

However, I often hear customers call waiters "朋友" to get their attention, but in my experience this is true only when the customers are foreigners.

So I wonder if it is considered acceptable, or even if it is, still sounds awkward or unnatural, to call waiters "朋友" as a custermer. Also, do local Chinese call them "朋友"?

Answer 1

I think 服务员 is just a little bit old, formal and sometimes serious way of calling waiters/waitresses from some people's prospective nowadays. But I don't think it is offensive if you use it, especially if you're a foreigner. I also use it several years ago and even now.

Alternative way maybe 服务生(mostly for male). I guess it's the way from Hong Kong or Taiwan but accepted in mainland. This sounds more modern in some cases.

朋友 is not widely used by local in such cases. Maybe because you're a foreigner, they would like to show more friendly. I think they can call you 先生（Mister）/女士（Mrs.）/小姐（Miss）. However, if this is the cafe/bar's feature or tradition or something like industry rule (though I don't know such rule), then it's OK.

Instead, you can just call waiters (even not only waiters, but any other male you don't know) as 帅哥、小哥、小哥哥（if he is young）； 兄弟、哥们；叔叔、伯伯、大叔(if he is elder)；大爷（very old）... The same, call any female you don't know as 美女、小姐姐、小姑娘（if young）;姐姐、姐们儿；大姐、大嫂、阿姨（if elder）; 大妈（very old）...

小哥哥、小姐姐 are just the popular saying recently, we don't even use them maybe 2 years ago. Things are always changing, you know.

Finally, it's simple and proper to say 你好 in order to get the waiter's attention.

Answer 2

Nationwide, 服务员 is the common term for waiters(in English). Some may think to address someone as 服务员 is a bit "look-down", but wouldn't it be the case for the English word waiters? I did hear "waiter" was used to humiliate someone. Overall, there is no issue that you use 服务员 in those public service establishments including restaurants, malls, supermarkets and etc., in which you don't intend to offend.

As for the case you encountered in those bars and cafes where they address customers as 朋友, I think the main purpose is that they want to pull the relationship closer to their customers (as if they are friends). Some would take it a bit odd at the first time of hearing it, and they may get used to it after they go there many times because they know it's just their style.

I wouldn't suggest you call them back with 朋友 unless you are trying to make a little joke on their style (calling their customers 朋友). Think about the case where you say "朋友，买单" and the waiter might be confused whether you are asking him for bill or your friend sitting next to you to pay the bill.

Answer 3

If you call your waiters or waitresses 服务员, 小二 , 小哥、小哥哥、帅哥、靓仔, 小妹、小姐姐、美女、靓女 as above in Hong Kong, you could seriously offend them.

Especially 靓仔 靓女. I will strongly recommend against it; it will be considered creepy and borderline sexual harassment. (Would like to comment, but I don't have enough reputation.)

Instead, a simple request starting with 你好 (hi) + 唔該 (please) would normally suffice.

Answer 4

Not usual to hear 朋友 for waiters.

Yes it is acceptable to call waiters 服务员, though is slightly awkward.

And yes, most local Chinese people call waiters 服务员.

Personally, to show my respect, I would call waiters as:

• Male: 小哥、小哥哥、帅哥、靓仔 (Cantonese)、伙计、哥们、兄弟 (in northern China).
• Female: 小妹、小姐姐、美女、靓女（Cantonese).

Answer 5

Locals do not use 朋友， but if you use it, waiters will happy, before you use it, consider your friends feeling, they may give you an odd face.

You can use 服务员，or just say 你好， and avoid to call a title.

Answer 6

In this context, it is like you call someone in English as "bro" even though he is not your actually brother.

Me personally call the waiters as "服务员".

Answer 7

We say 小二 in a traditional Chinese restaurant. 侍應 in a western restaurant.

We use 朋友 If u know the name of the waiter(s) .

Answer 8

My gut feeling is that ,

Foreigners call Chinese waiters 朋友：natural and will make me feel that this foreigner is a smart and considerate person.

Chinese waiters call foreiners 朋友：how does he know this foreigner can understand Chinese?But if he does,it's a good option.

Chinese locals call Chinese unfamiliar waiters 朋友：inappropriate.

Chinese waiters call Chinese locals 朋友：very inappropriate.