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For female waiters, my dad taught me to use the phrase "小姐 ".
But for male waiters, my dad doesn't know how to properly call them. I discussed the possibility of using "da ge", "小ge", "da di", "小 di", but they sound whimsical compared to the way one calls for a female waiter.
How should one appropriately call for a male waiter?
As fluffy's answer has noted, 小姐 may now cause confusion because of its other meaning - a prostitute. So you may want to avoid that unless used as an honorific e.g. 董小姐.
According to my knowledge, in the north (of mainland China), they are usually called 服务员(server), both male and female. But in the south, they are usually called 帅哥(handsome man) for waiter and 美女(beautiful lady) for waitress, instead of calling them a server. And in Guangdong or Cantonese-dominant region, they are called 靚仔 and 靚女 respectively, basically the same meaning as 帅哥/美女.
As far as I know, 小姐 (xiao3jie3) is not very appreciated anymore by waitresses, even in Beijing; they might even be offended because that is how girls who sell their bodies are addressed. That is how Chinese people explained it to me. Waiters, be it male or female, are addressed as 服务员 (fu2wu4yuan2) and it is safe to call them that.
It is offensive to call any woman “shiao jie”(or in Pinyin, xiao jie) these days. Since maybe ten years ago "shiao jie" has carried the implication of being a prostitute(before that "shiao jie" is equivalent to Miss). And "da ge", "shiao ge", "da di", "shao di" are not proper addresses. "Da ge" is usually related to gangs in cities, and in rural areas it can be used to address a man who is older than you. "Xiao ge" is not used now, except for humorous effect. "Da di" is an old-old-old-fashioned word for your biggest little brother. "Shiao di" is the exact opposite of "da ge". You can call any waitor, either male or female, "fu wu yuan".
P.S. why can't I agree or comment here? I read through the FAQ section yet found no answer.
