I attended a wedding last weekend and wanted to say something along the following lines:

"In the first year you will probably find there are many things that you don't agree on".

I couldn't think of what to use for the "things that you don't agree on". I want to find a word or words that mean don't agree, I don't want something that means argumentative, I am looking for something that is more neutral that means they don't agree.

I'm thinking maybe something like 想法是不一样. Do you have any better suggestions?

  • 1
    在第一年,你们 或许 对很多事情 想法不一样... is good. However I think the ... part is more important, there should be some transitions to a happy blessing.
    – Stan
    Jul 11, 2013 at 4:03
  • @Stan - There were plenty of good words, but I also wanted to encourage them not to get frustrated with disagreements in the first year. I've had a few friends break up after < 5 years of marriage recently, need to let friends know they need to take the bad with the good.
    – going
    Jul 11, 2013 at 5:41
  • 2
    @xiaohouzi79 In that case you may want to give them your advice in private instead of on the wedding, and the wording won't matter.
    – NS.X.
    Jul 11, 2013 at 6:31
  • 1
    In that case, I won't mention "in the first year" at all. As suggested by NS.X., talk to them in private instead. E.g. 意见不合是在所难免的,只要能互相包容,夫妻俩是可以白头到老的。
    – 杨以轩
    Jul 11, 2013 at 7:13
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    @NS.X. - It wasn't a wedding speach, I was talking to them privately, there was nobody else around.
    – going
    Jul 12, 2013 at 0:09

3 Answers 3


Here's some off the top of my head...

In the first year...

你们有时候会有不相同的看法 (Nǐmen yǒu shíhou huì yǒu bù xiāngtóng de kànfǎ)

你们有时候会彼此不同意 (Nǐmen yǒu shíhou huì bǐcǐ bù tóngyì)

有的事你们不会有相同意见 (Yǒu de shì nǐmen bù huì yǒu xiāngtóng yìjiàn)

会有一些事情,你们会不同意 (Huì yǒu yīxiē shìqíng, nǐ huì bù tóngyì)

有的时候有些事情是你们不赞同的 (Yǒu de shíhou yǒuxiē shìqíng shì nǐmen bù zàntóng de)
  • I don't think 同意 really fits here...
    – Mou某
    May 5, 2014 at 9:37

In Chinese, especially in Wedding, you'd better say '第一年,或许你们还会摩擦,但摩擦也是为了爱的火花' which means that 'Perhaps there is some friction between you, but all these are because of love'. One can give his opinion or suggestion in Wedding, but you'd better turn them into blessing.

  • +1 Nice metaphor.
    – Stan
    Aug 12, 2013 at 14:52
  • @Stan I love Chinese Poetry, the morden one or classical. Is there someone love it and want to learn it? Is there a chatting room for Chinese poetry? Aug 12, 2013 at 15:10
  • Hmm, I haven't met a chatting room for Chinese poetry either. I know little about that :)
    – Stan
    Aug 12, 2013 at 15:22

分別的看法 is a pretty good way to describe this without sounding negative. Having separate points of view is a possible euphemism for disagreeing on things.

  • I don't quite agree with this. 分別的看法 sounds the same as 各自的看法 (your own opinions), it's too euphemistic that I can hardly feel any implication of the divergence between the opinions. Anyway, the manner of speaking may imply some.
    – Stan
    Jul 12, 2013 at 5:53
  • Anyone heard 分別的看法 before? This doesn't sound not like a native.
    – halfelf
    Jul 12, 2013 at 8:34
  • @halfelf I did have heard some native speakers used this phrase. Anyway you're right, it does sound a little clumsy, I would prefer 你们各自有什么看法 > 你们分别有什么看法 >> 你们分别的看法是什么.
    – Stan
    Jul 12, 2013 at 10:43

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