I'm having trouble with one part of this answer from Tang Ho relating to the story Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang was fat when she was young:
我爸忙时就让我吃， --> (每当)我爸忙(的)时(侯)(他)就让我吃，
When my father was busy, he would let me eat ...
(On the left is my writing, and on the right is Tang Ho's suggestions/corrections. The mental image I have is a father busy working on a computer, ignoring his daughter and distracting her with junk food.)
In my writing, I was trying to be succinct. I certainly feel like adding 每当 is an improvement (it's a new word for me) and conveys the idea that it happens repeatedly. But maybe the other additions are unnecessary (?); I've seen these things omitted in writing previously.
Question: How do we trade-off succinctness for accuracy in 每当我爸忙的时侯他就让我吃?