Continuing from part 3 (with the story starting at part 1):

我们到了医务室,这家楼看起来像实验室,而并不是像普通的医院。我看着我爸,他似乎已经对这个地方很熟悉,甚至知道怎么走。他说了“我的朋友在这儿工作”。我们一进去就看到医生了,而他带我们去他的办公室。医生立刻从桌子的抽屉中取出了一只注射器,说“这会解决你的体重问题 ”。我有奇怪的感觉,但是我爸悄悄地说“我已经告诉了他你来这儿的原因”。虽然我当时还有所怀疑,但我就只是相信父母而已,因此我让他给我注射。没有发现了立即而明显的后果,所以然后医生就走了,而我们回家了。

Please critique my writing. New words for me are in links. I'm at an "almost mastered HSK4" level.

I'm afraid 一进去就[...] is too often used in relation to premature ejaculation (一进去就射了), which would be totally inappropriate here. But maybe what I've written is okay.

Also I'm not sure if 而已 is appropriate.

I won't include an English version: that's not the point of this exercise. I'm fairly confident it's understandable (or at least if it needs modifying, it won't require much back-and-forth in the comments).

  • 1
    "一进去就射了" lmao bro...... Dec 1, 2019 at 4:14
  • (It's very hard to "accept" an answer to this question [and others like it]. They're helpful in different ways.)
    – Becky 李蓓
    Dec 9, 2019 at 6:21
  • 注射—> 打针,注射器—>针管,后果—>效果/现象
    – imkzh
    May 18, 2021 at 18:06

2 Answers 2


Hard to explain this one. 栋 for a building and 座 for a certain kind of building?


像 is a verb in Chinese so you don't add 是. Alternatively use 像是 as a single phrase.


的 should be removed, I believe, so is 了. Also I would reverse the order to My friend works here', he says. (“我朋友在这儿工作, 他说).


Reorder 了? 我们一进去就看到了医生


Not sure about 而, because I don't feel any logical relation here. Maybe use a word for temporal relation, e.g. 立刻, 他立刻带我们去了他的办公室 (adding 了 for past tense)


I would use 我感觉有些奇怪 (I feel somehow strange) rather than 我有奇怪的感觉(I have some strange feelings).


而已 is fine I think, but maybe 当时 to the "believe" part, because I think that part need it more. Also 注射了


没有立即发现明显的后果("Didn't immediately see obvious result"). But not sure about the "发现". Here you are expecting to "feel" something, e.g. 没有立即感到明显的变化(Didn't immediately feel any difference). Or just "没什么明显的感觉" (Didn't feel anything noticeable)


Again I don't feel the logical relationship here, so remove 所以 and 而, maybe add 也(also). "然后医生就走了,我们也回家了" ("Then the doctor left, so did we")



The sentences are short, implying the passage is colloquial. However, its style doesn't accord to daily language, which makes it translationese.



It seems that you are not used to use link words, so sometimes it's weird in logic.

实验室 is a room complex, while 研究所 is a building complex.


"这会解决你的问题" We don't say like that, which I have only heard in translation works.

  • 这并不能解决你的问题。√
  • 这解决得了你的问题吗?√
  • 这样你的问题就解决了。√
  • 你还有什么问题没解决?√
  • 这不会解决你的问题的。√
  • 这会解决你的问题。x
  • —— hard to say why.

"我已经告诉了他你来这儿的原因" Oh, it's worse.

  • 你为什么要来我已经告诉过他了。
  • 我已经告诉过他你为什么要来了。
  • 我已经跟他说过你要来的原因了。

"虽然我…但我…因此我" is usually shortened as "我虽然…但…因此"

"而已" Why? I don't see how it is used.

"后果" is usually something bad, and is always used to imply the consequence/effect of something. It cannot be used alone.

  • 你有没有考虑过徇私枉法的后果?√(下场/结果x)
  • 现在锒铛入狱才后悔当初没有多想想贪污腐败的后果。√(下场√结果x)
  • 上述两句区别在于,“下场”必定是已成现实/假定已成现实。
  • 现在家道中落,祖荫尽失,可谓是不思进取的后果。√(结果/下场√)(贬损的语气下场>后果>结果)
  • 这样做不用担心有什么后果。√(结果/下场x)
  • 树倒猢狲散,飞扬跋扈的王家没落得个好后果。x(结果/下场√)
  • 利用政策套利,目前还没发现有什么后果。√(结果/下场x)

Should 儿化音 be written down or not? I recommend not.

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