Continuing from parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7:


Please critique my writing. New words for me are in links. I'm at an "almost mastered HSK4" level. The narrative is from a person in the present (Zhou Ziwang 周子望) with an unusual past. Her father was involved in "DNA editing" research, and now that it's everywhere he explains the backstory from his perspective.

  • After a lot of umming and ahing, I opted for the name DNA改造 which is modified from one of Tang Ho's suggestions: 基因改造.

  • Lots of new words this time. It's often hard to choose the right one. E.g. 名为, 称作, or 称为.

  • 因为最初基础研究进展缓慢 ...

    I'm not sure why, but this feels ugly, but it means "Because at first the basic research was proceeding slowly...".

  • 当时,和那些科学家立即的预测一致,...

    This is intended to mean "at that time, in accordance with the scientists predictions, ...". (Not all scientists, just the few involved in the research.) It's a bit clunky.

  • (I beg you not to point out the impossibility of all this. It's just a story.)

At some point I'd like to collate these [after editing them] and post it on meta.


It is how I would write:

这样的技术变得普遍之后, --> 这技术普遍了之后,

我爸解释它的秘史。 --> 我爸說出了一段秘史。

只是一些科学家研究的追求,--> 这技术的誕生,原因只是一些科学家对科学研究的(狂热)追求

那时候无法想象将来会导致现在的「DNA改造大革命」。 --> 那时候,人们根本无法想象,这项研究将会导致现在的「DNA改造大革命」。

因为最初基础研究进展缓慢,所以他们的期望很低。--> 由于最初的基础研究进展缓慢,他们的期望都很低。

突然有一天我们收到重大的消息:--> 突然有一天,我们收到一个重大的消息:

一个无名的科学家发明了使用电脑创造蛋白质一个方法,--> 一位无名的科学家,发明了一个使用电脑创造蛋白质的方法,

就像分子的三维打印一样,TA发明了如何把电脑上的氨基酸序列自动地实现真实的蛋白质。--> 就像將分子,以三维打印機去打印一样,他发現了如何把电脑上的「氨基酸序列」自动地合成出真实蛋白质的方法。

当时,和那些科学家立即的预测一致,--> 和当时那些科学家的预测一致,

不久之后,发现了这项发明显然的使用: --> 不久之后,他們找到了这项发明的,最明显的使用法:

可编程的DNA,或者现在名为「DNA改造」。 --> 「可编程的 DNA」,即是现在(我们口中)的「DNA 改造」


For "蛋白质一个方法", I think "蛋白质的方法" or "蛋白质的一个方法" can be better.

For "发明了如何把电脑上的氨基酸序列自动地实现真实的蛋白质", I think "发現了如何自动地把电脑上的氨基酸序列合成出真实的蛋白质" can be better.

  • Yes, It should be either "他发現了如何把电脑上的「氨基酸序列」自动地合成出真实蛋白质的方法。" or "他发明了把电脑上的「氨基酸序列」自动地合成出真实蛋白质的方法。" – Tang Ho Dec 28 '19 at 15:31

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