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I'm trying to say this in English:

I am almost enjoying imagining the poor men who listen to these suggestions, ...

The context is peacocking: Peacocking means dressing for attention; just like peacocks use their feathers to get a mate. My character is researching these "pick up" techniques online, and she's imagining someone using "peacocking", believing it's a good idea, but look ridiculous in other peoples' eyes.

And this is what I've come up with:

我几乎在享受中想象着听这样建议的可怜的男人,。。。

I don't think it's very good, though. I showed my teacher this a while back, but she struggled with it. I don't think it's an easy sentence.

Question: How do I correct 我几乎在享受中想象着听这样建议的可怜的男人?

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Please don't care that I use traditional Chinese.

For 我几乎在享受中想象着听这样建议的可怜的男人, I think that 我幾乎享受地想象著聽從這樣建議的可憐男人 can be better. In this example, I use 享受地 function as an adverb.

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  • In my story, I eventually went with 我几乎享受地想象着听从这样建议的可怜男人, which is slightly different. Thanks.
    – Becky 李蓓
    Feb 29 '20 at 11:48
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我几乎是乐于这种想象:这些可怜的男人们听到这些建议,(会是······)

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I'm trying to say this in English:

I am almost enjoying imagining the poor men who listen to these suggestions, ...

I'm not a language expert, so this is a wild guess:)

Your "this" may in fact be English! Can anyone confirm? Over.

If you would like that "this" in Chinese however, I would change your English a little.

当 ... 时 = when

当我想到那些男士为了吸引女士的注意而按照这些建议去打扮自己时, 几乎有种享受的感觉。

When I imagine the poor men who listen to these suggestions and dress up in order to attract women, I almost have a feeling of enjoyment.

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我几乎在享受中 想象着听这样建议的 可怜的男人

我几乎在享受着 可怜的男人在听这样的建议的 想象中

I am almost enjoying the mental image of pitiful men listening to this kind of suggestions

  • The object being "enjoyed" by the speaker is the "imagination".

  • "Pitiful men listening to this kind of suggestion" are the description of the "imagination". It is a very long adjectival clause

I just switched the placement of the relative clauses. I don't even have to add any character

To reduce the length of the sentence, some characters can be omitted To reduce the length of the sentence, some characters can be omitted

我几乎在享受着 可怜的男人在听这样的建议的 想象中 --> 我几乎在享受着 可怜男人在听这建议的 想象中

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I reckon you're going to use that colloquially. This should fit perfectly.

想起来简直搞笑,多可怜的男人才会听这种建议。

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I am almost enjoying imagining the poor men who listen to these suggestions

我几乎开始享受想象听信了这些建议的可怜男人[...]

I think in English, 'am almost enjoying' means almost starting to enjoy, so, we shouldn't miss 开始. 几乎开始 means I actually don't but there was almost an illusion that I like it?

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