These are verses from a poem I'm working on:


Currently I've translated it as:

"Water beating against the hull, the hustle and bustle of work shanties, time in secluded bamboo groves / It’s unlikely those piles and rows of cartons contained munitions / How could there have been no sign of forced entry into the cargo ship?"

The impression I've got is that this Chinese line of verse isn't meant to be grammatically correct, but means to invoke flashes of imagery in a written 'stream-of-consciousness'. Does this interpretation (and the translation itself) make sense?

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