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I translated this body of text for someone who wanted to write an english poem they made in chinese. They didn't care if it rhymed or was true poetry rhythm, but wanted it to "still have pasison" if someone read it in chinese. It is kinda my first time attempting to write something poetic and not just read/listen to it so I wanted to make sure my grammar was correct. Thanks in advance. The text: 住着地球的两端,所試圖辨识自己。那些萍水相逢,可能深切命途。吻过得、见过得、触过得,一刹怦然心动。心里浸热情了。 人生的十字路口星离雨散未详,自信认为煙雨只為情留。

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  • Can you post the English original?
    – Tang Ho
    Aug 3 at 18:03
  • Living on opposite sides of the world, Trying to find who we are, The people we meet along the way, Can shape our lives in mysterious ways, A kiss, a look, a touch, Excitement rushing through, Passionate feelings take over, How long our journey will last, Feelings of love will shape a path. The writer is fine with the changes of meaning vs literal translation I did however if you have any suggestions I am all ears.
    – zagrycha
    Aug 3 at 19:24
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住着地球的两端,
試圖辨识自己。
那些萍水相逢,
可能深切命途。 (Do you mean 命途多舛?)
吻过
见过
触过
一刹怦然心动
(You can say 一刹那 [yí chànà] or 一霎[yí shà])
心里浸滿了热情
人生的十字路口
故人星离雨散
未详世事結局 ,
自信认为煙雨只為情留。

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  • Thank you very much for the feedback! I'm really embarrased to typo the 的/得/地, I should've caught those. You made it flow much better than I did.
    – zagrycha
    Aug 3 at 19:40
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My very amateurish effort.

活世在两端,

寻咱们于谁,

人们路上遇,

神秘塑我活,

一吻,

一眼神,

一触摸,

兴奋速冲过,

接管热情感,

旅程将多久,

爱感塑本道。

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  • Thank you for the feedback, I wanted to use more poetic language in my translation, but it is good to see how others would do it.
    – zagrycha
    Aug 4 at 14:49
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Here is my translation. You can have a look at it and improve yours!

在世界不同半球的我们,

正试图寻找真实的自我。

沿着路遇见的一切人们,

神奇地塑造我们的生活。

一个吻中、一次触碰中、一瞬的眼神相接中,

激动突闪过我们的胴体,

激情接管了我们的心灵。

我们的旅途将持续多久?

爱之感觉会为我们指路。

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  • Thank you for the feedback. I had already talked to the author about not doing a literal translation, although it is good to see how others would do it.
    – zagrycha
    Aug 4 at 14:43

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