My friend and I were jokingly conversing (read: google translating) in Mandarin Chinese and I spent 20 minutes on Wiktionary trying to translate
offensive language:
"you suck me good and hard through my jorts"
into Mandarin. I ended up with "您吸我好和強通過我牛仔短褲"
(because I dug myself into a pit by making fun of my friend for only using simplified Chinese) and the only parts I'm even slightly confident in are the use of the polite 'you' and jorts as '牛仔短褲'. I know nothing of Chinese grammar or vulgar terms so I was hoping someone could help me not bastardize this language trying to translate this joke.