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大家好! 这是我第一次用这个网站。谢谢大家的帮助和推荐

目前正在练习用比喻。我想用中文说:"Time is like sunlight and habits are like trees. The habits that receive your time will flourish. If you give your time to good habits, they will grow tall and wide, to the point that no light can reach your bad habits. Thus, your bad habits wither away."

我尝试:“时间仿佛是太阳一般。习惯仿佛是树木一般。接受时间的习惯会长得茂盛。你如果把时间分给好习惯,它们就会长得又高又宽,甚至坏习惯接受不了太阳,从而枯萎。”

生词和语法用得怎么样?有没有更当地的说法可以用?谢谢

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    It is too wordy. No matter how you write it, it will still be incomprehensible. You should try some sensible metaphors. Generally, a wordy metaphor is not a good metaphor
    – Tang Ho
    Apr 20 at 7:46
  • Example of a good metaphor: "No banquet never ends" - "天下無不散之筵席" (everything will end, everyone will part)
    – Tang Ho
    Apr 20 at 8:02

4 Answers 4

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时间就像太阳一般,习惯就像大树一般,接受时间的习惯会像太阳照耀着树木一样长得茂盛。你如果把时间都给好习惯,它们就会长得又高又宽,就像树木一样,于是你的坏习惯接收不到阳光,从而枯萎。

我来自于中国,会英语但不多。我认为它有点难写,我也写不好。 :(

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  • 写得比我好多了。谢谢你的回答!
    – user38856
    Apr 20 at 14:33
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The intention of the sentences you wrote is great but a little wordy and the translation may has a mistake.

甚至 could be equal to even, translating "to the point" to 以至于 is more fitting than translating to 甚至. Because 甚至 was always used in gradual relationships but not causal relationships.

As for the whole translations, it seems like a aphorism or saying with philosophy of life, but it is always succinct, so if you want to translate it in Chinese, the sentence should not be too long.

Under the circumstances, there are two choices, for the writer is to rewrite the original sentence, the other for the translator is to make changes in the translation and try to retain the original sentences.

We can delete some adjectives and adverbs to reach the goal. So the sentences could be this: 时间就像是阳光而习惯则像是树木,习惯吸收了时间便会茂盛,如果将时间都给到好习惯,那么他们就会茁壮成长,以至于坏习惯没有阳光可以吸收,这样坏习惯便会枯萎。

But it seems still too wordy, there may be another way that you could use after you learn a lot of Chinese knowledge to further reduce the word count, be less wordy, and have a richer texture and the way is using the Classical Chinese to translate.

there is a sloppy example: 光阴似日而习者如木。木得日则生,弗得则死。与优者以日,则枝繁而叶茂,而恶者自绝也.

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Time is like sunlight and habits are like trees.
时间就像阳光,而爱好就像大树.

(大树需要阳光.)

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  • 谢谢!爱好不是比较有”hobby“的意思吗?
    – user38856
    Apr 20 at 14:31
  • 爱好: 喜爱;具有浓厚兴趣并积极参加 hobby: c. 1400, hobi, "small, active horse," The modern sense of "a favourite pursuit, object, or topic" is from 1816, a shortening of hobbyhorse the connecting notion being "activity that doesn't go anywhere." = interest, something you like doing
    – Pedroski
    Apr 21 at 4:53
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My amateurish attempt. Hope not too wordy.

时间如阳光, 习惯如树木,

习惯得时间, 树木得阳光,

好得高又宽, 坏得消如亡.

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  • 谢谢!我觉得用中文来表示比喻很有意思。可以用“仿佛”,“像”,“如”很多很多。。。
    – user38856
    Apr 20 at 14:29

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