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I found these marvelous calligraphy work and I wanted to give "softness" to the last sentence of the poem, as it was whispered. I've rendered it smaller and lighter, but I'm afraid I might have made a choice that's too graphic-western and I don't know if it fits with chinese comunication.

Is it too weird to see / read? enter image description here

(does the seal make sense?)

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    老實說,我真的看不懂這些字是什麼意思,以平面設計者的角度來看,每個字所佔空間太平均,間隔太劃一。草書應該龍飛鳳舞,給人一氣呵成的感覺,而這一幅字的感覺就似逐個逐個字填上去,沒有草書的奔放感。
    – Tang Ho
    Commented May 3 at 14:58
  • rendering the last sentence smaller and lighter disconnects it from the rest of the writing, looks more like a signature
    – Tang Ho
    Commented May 3 at 15:08
  • 雖然看來有些像,那不是草書,連行書都不是 Commented May 6 at 3:48
  • Use the same font for the last few characters. If that part is supposed to be whispered, the reader should be able to discern it from the writing. Commented May 6 at 3:50
  • Fat penguin and @Tang Ho, would you consider it ugly? Even with the left column corrected?
    – rea haven
    Commented May 23 at 7:11

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As a calligraphy work, the second column would be better to write in the same height of the first when switching columns.

And I saw that you have made the last sentence smaller and lighter with a golden color, which was not a common way in Chinese calligraphy for that characters in Chinese calligraphy are basically just black and written on white paper to generate a sense of spatial beauty through the contrast between black and white.

Another point was The seal was usually on the lower left side of the work's frame and would not follow the main text but follow the inscription with date, name, or short sentence stating the reason for creating the work etc (as shown in the figure below).

enter image description here

By the way, if you are intersting in the composition of Chinese calligraphy works, you could see this article for a little insight: https://www.jianshu.com/p/624ab16491d0

Back to the original question. The work had no inscription, you may need to attach one inscription to the work so that the work looks better in composition.

So the work may get changed to be like this (apologize for using a cursive font for the inscription temporarily):

enter image description here

As for you want to express a sense of softness and idleness, as it was whispered, but the characters themselves could actually convey this message with their font and their stroke style. There was a old Chinese saying that said:" 字如其人" meant seeing characters wrote by a person, seeing experiences and personalities of a person. So good calligraphy works should make readers feel the authors' feeling at the first sight.

Tang Ho mentioned that cursive should got change in the variation and size to express beauty, it was true. But if you just wanted the characters to look more regular, it was ok, you could find the work named 十七帖 wrote by 王羲之(321-379 AD or 303-361 AD), and there is a piece of the work:

enter image description here

These characters were still different in the size but seemed regular, cursive writing didn't always have to look like crazy.

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  • quote: "cursive writing didn't always have to look like crazy." -- We don't want a crazy look, we want to see, 'flow' in the calligraphy
    – Tang Ho
    Commented May 4 at 3:30
  • Thank you so much, you gave me the most amazing and exhaustive answer <3
    – rea haven
    Commented May 21 at 8:25

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