Questions tagged [writing-critique]
Requests for a review of the user's Chinese writing.
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Why did my "你很有名" joke not work, and is it salvagable?
王伟和外国朋友一起填表格。
王伟：“我姓王，所以我在‘姓’的旁边写‘王’。”
外国朋友：“哦，我姓‘Lee’，所以我写‘李’。”
王伟：“然后，我们在‘名’的旁边写自己的名字，我写‘伟’。”
外国朋友：“哦，我的名字是‘Christopher’，所以我写‘克里斯托弗’。”
王伟：“哇～你很有名！”
I wrote the above joke. Christopher Lee is a ...
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I have a piece of homework due in on describing with adjectives and we just recently learned about prepositions which I'm unsure of, also grammar
(this is all about my ideal bedroom and what I would like in it)
你好！我喜欢城市和雨天所以我想住在下雨的城市。我理想的卧室会很高也大。我的卧室有里很多窗。我想两张桌子在卧室里，也两张很小黄色的灯在桌子上。我的床是橙色的和很大。卧室里有很大电视 和电脑在桌子上。卧室不有椅子。然而，我喜欢我的卧室。
What I'm trying to ...
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How is this smodin.io AI-generated Chinese passage?
I generated this story using smodin.io (my input was the title):
我被友好的外星人绑架了。
有史以来最引人入胜的电影之一是 H.G. 威尔斯的《世界大战》。这部电影描绘了外星人入侵地球，人类使用大规模杀伤性武器反击外星人。在整部电影中，人类主角都在努力理解他受到外星人攻击的事实。他最终屈服于外星人的精神控制并被他们绑架。...
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What's wrong with my joke 这位外科医生不礼貌，他总是说脏话, and how can I salvage it?
这位外科医生不礼貌，他总是说脏话。
Today I attempted to make the above joke on my WeChat 朋友圈. It's meant to be a play on words, with 脏话 meaning "profanity", but also 脏 (zàng) referring to bodily organs. ...
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这段课文写对了没有? 请你们检查一下。谢谢
Please help me to check if my text for the video is correct. 大家好! 我是_, 我来自俄罗斯, 今年20岁。 目前还是一个_大学外国语学院的学生。 我是一个渴望知识的人, 学得很认真和努力。 我家不太富裕, 我从中学工作和帮助解决金钱问题。 从那时起，我试图了解金融和经济学是如何运作的, 觉得很有意思。 在我上学期间, ...
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How can I write my simple text better? Number 2
I'm learning a lot by having you guys correct my stupid texts. Thanks a lot!
I wanted to do it again, so here we go:
Text:
我的工作室程序员，我知道java很好。
我想想会是警察，这样我学习学习的。
我学习韩语因为汉语学习是我的爱好。
谢谢你们因为你们看了我的写作。
What ...
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Is my mini text correct? How can I write it better?
我的名字是Leandro, 我在学习汉语三年。这是一号的文本，这是不好。 我要会说汉语因为我要走工作自中国.
What i tried to write:
My name is Leandro, I've been studying Chinese for 3 years. This is my first text, it isn't good. I want to speak Chinese ...
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Is this sentence correct ? 我不知道会发我们的什么照片,所以就选择这个
你们好!
Hi, can you please tell me is this sentence correct?:
我不知道会发我们的什么照片,所以就选择[了]这个。 (I don't know to post which photo of us, so I chose this one).
谢谢 !
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Is this sentence correct? "中国发送给我们国家很多帮助"
大家好!
Hi, can you please tell me is this sentence correct?
请问，这个句子对吗 ?:
在疫情其间中国发送给我们国家很多帮助。
谢谢 !
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Some Simple Translation Sentences Involving Key Grammar Phrases: 是， 像， 过 ， Direction Phrases
I was wondering if someone could make sure my translations for these sentences are correct.
Thank you very much. Use
The book I'm reading now is a birthday gift given by a friend. Use 是
...
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Is my sentence 我本来要带你去的，但是我的车抛锚了 correct?
I am learning how to use 本来 in a sentence; we are supposed to fill in the sentence to make the conversation whole. The first sentence is the one I wrote using the 本来 and the second is already given:
...
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HSK6的第101题（缩写）请求反馈：富有爸爸和会花钱的儿子
我在练习HSK6里的第101题：缩写。我用了这个过去的考卷练习，而下面是我的写作（原始版）。我不可以用电脑、词典什么的，也作文400字数限制。据这个课程里的评论，我必须包括分段。
关于下面的写作，我请求反馈，想知道我最重要的缺点。我特别想知道前HSK6的学生的建议。（据我目前的知识，没有网站提供正确答案的例子。）
儿子只有自由才能成功
有钱的父亲担心他粗心花钱的儿子，虽然他劝儿子该负责自己，...
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他们俩的性格差不多,挺像双胞胎一样: Can we use 挺 in this manner?
I am trying to construct a sentence and I would like to know if this correct form of writing.
他们俩的性格差不多,挺像双胞胎一样.
Is this sentence alright? Can we use 挺 in this manner?
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我爱去饭店吃饭。我想去饭店吃米饭，可是我觉得我会去家吃苹果: Does this make grammatical sense?
I am just practicing writing. Does this make sense?
我饿死了！我爱去饭店吃饭。我想去饭店吃米饭，可是我觉得我会去家吃苹果。
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Is my sentence 如果没时间的话就告诉我 grammatically correct?
I am not sure that my sentence:
如果没时间的话就告诉我
is grammatically correct or not. So please guide me, have I used the right words?
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Is my sentence 如果我没去上班就一起朋友去玩 grammatially correct?
I have written the following sentence
如果我没去上班就一起朋友去玩
But, I am not sure if it is grammatically correct or not. Please give me some guidance.
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How to write and structure a modern professional follow-up email like a native Chinese speaker?
I'm interested in how the modern professional email structures differ between Chinese and English.
I'd like to create a go-to template/structure that can convert what native English speakers ...
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How can I improve 酒吧漆黑的墙面稀疏地装饰着粉红樱花图案 to describe a floral pattern on the black walls of a bar?
I'm trying to describe the walls in a bar (in my story), and this is what I've come up with:
酒吧漆黑的墙面稀疏地装饰着粉红樱花图案。
Essentially, there's a bar and it's walls are painted black, except for a pink ...
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Critique request: three 筹备 sentences: 有的人的筹备很不合理 and 北京花了很长时间做筹备工作 and 不需要筹备任何配料
(Update: There was a typo: 之间 should be 时间. I corrected it.)
I wrote these sentences to practice using 筹备 instead of 准备 which I'm more familiar with.
脱欧后，有的人的筹备很不合理！
北京花了很长时间做筹备工作，不过因为冠状病毒的发现，...
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It's Kong Lin's birthday, but she hates birthdays: is it okay to write 孔琳宁愿发现来月经而整天肚子疼，也不过今天?
I'm writing a story in Chinese (which I go through with my teacher), and this is one sentence from it:
今天是一年中她最讨厌的一天，孔琳宁愿发现来月经而整天肚子疼，也不过今天。
Today is the most annoying day of the year, [and] Kong ...
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Could anyone help me check my grammar in sentence
请多多指教 😢 I'm just a beginner
这是谁的手机不知道呢
你想吃什么随便呢
我想发电子邮件向妈妈
请在这里等我
我有急事，请您接替我的职位，可以吗？
我想我的行李箱忘在出租车上了
云岘宫是韩国名胜古迹之一
你专心学习，当然不会考不及格的
她不知道怎样使用提款机
上次他们问了我没回应
要是我有一百万，我要买汽车给父母
请等他一会儿
妈妈希望我成功
我们要万事如意
...
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Why did my teacher say 判断 is wrong in 她意识到朋友判断她 ("she's aware that her friends judge her") and what's a better choice of word?
This is a sentence of my writing:
她意识到朋友判断她、对她的感觉变了、不再想跟她在一起。
It's meant to mean something like:
She's aware that her friends judge her, have changed feelings about her, and don't want to spend ...
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Writing critique request: Upgrading your DNA is like upgrading software on your computer
Continuing from parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7:
我们不知道谁在互联网上泄露了这个发明，但是以后，几乎每个电子公司开始提供廉价的适配器。有的人认为免费开源（FOSS）社区发挥了作用。如果拥有电脑，像把软件更新一样，现在你可以在网上更新自己的DNA。
社会的态度完全改变了：起初，没人想要编辑自己的DNA，但很快发现了“DNA优化人”...
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How do I correct 我几乎在享受中想象着听这样建议的可怜的男人?
I'm trying to say this in English:
I am almost enjoying imagining the poor men who listen to these suggestions, ...
The context is peacocking: Peacocking means dressing for attention; just like ...
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Is my translation of "I think Disney has a big influence on people's expectations of love" accurate?
新年快乐，大家！
I'm a long-time user of Stack Overflow for coding problems, but a noob on Chinese SE.
I was trying to say recently "I think Disney has a big influence on people's expectations of love&...
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Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang's father's explanation of how we reached a "DNA editing revolution"
Continuing from parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7:
这样的技术变得普遍之后，我爸解释它的秘史。只是一些科学家研究的追求，那时候无法想象将来会导致现在的「DNA改造大革命」。因为最初基础研究进展缓慢，所以他们的期望很低。突然有一天我们收到重大的消息：一个无名的科学家发明了使用电脑创造蛋白质一个方法，就像分子的三维打印一样，...
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Writing critique request: Welcome to the world of DNA editing
Continuing from parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6:
欢迎来到现代的“DNA编辑的新世界”。原来我差不多是第一个DNA编辑的人，而且我爸是世界上领导的研究者之一，一起偷偷地进行研究。我小时候造成我减肥的那个注射器是这种新技术的一个例子。那时候这项技术刚开始研发了，所以当时是非常基础的。起初，多数人无法使用甚至连DNA编辑的存在也不知道。世界政府立即介入了，...
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Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang loses weight, just like everyone else nowadays
Continuing from parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5:
那时候因为没有不断的渴望吃巧克力等，所以我开始减肥了。并不像我一天起床后就发现了我如魔法般地变瘦那样，反而久而久之，我的身体越来越改变。从最初胖女孩的样子，我终于获得了健康的体重。对人人来说，类似于毛毛虫变成蝴蝶，我逐渐变成小美女了。我当时没有那么知道的，所以对于这种减肥药连朋友都没告诉过，...
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Writing critique request: the almost imperceptible effects of Zhou Ziwang's injection
Continuing from parts 1, 2, 3, and 4:
一周过去了但没有任何效果，我还是很胖。在做日常活动的过程中，我渐渐忘了那个神秘的医生和他的注射器。再一周过去了，我的行为几乎感觉不到任何变化，我还真想吃巧克力和其他的垃圾食品。其实当时那支注射器有意外甚至不易察觉的影响，不过到现在我还不知道如何清楚的解释这样的感觉。我想吃巧克时，身体似乎自动地反应，...
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Is this clear? 我们等了一段时间，其间我们没观察到任何直接和明显的副作用, ... (waiting around for side-effects)
From my writing in Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang gets an injection from the "doctor", this part seems particularly problematic:
Original version: 没有发现了立即而明显的后果，...
I intended for ...
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Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang gets an injection from the "doctor"
Continuing from part 3 (with the story starting at part 1):
我们到了医务室，这家楼看起来像实验室，而并不是像普通的医院。我看着我爸，他似乎已经对这个地方很熟悉，甚至知道怎么走。他说了“我的朋友在这儿工作”。我们一进去就看到医生了，而他带我们去他的办公室。医生立刻从桌子的抽屉中取出了一只注射器，说“这会解决你的体重问题 ”。...
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Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang's father takes her to the "doctor"
Continuing from part 2 (see also part 1):
我妈注意到我当时变胖了，她想要帮我减肥但是长期以来的饮食习惯改不掉。难道说 ，我已经患有饮食失调了吗？我妈终于要求我总是忙于工作的爸爸帮我的忙，因此我爸带我去看医生。虽然我说“医生”，但即使到现在我也不确认。我问道，“老爸，我们去看医生吗？妈妈已经带我去看过了，但是没用”。我爸犹豫地答道，“噢，这位医生不一样”...
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Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang was fat when she was young
Continuing on from part 1:
当我是女孩时，世界上最重要的是吃巧克力和其它甜食。我爱吃麦当劳、我爱吃比萨、我爱吃巧克力蛋糕。我爸忙时就让我吃，如此我不打扰他，而他经常在电脑上工作。并不奇怪的是，我当时很胖。
虽然我很小，但不得不注意到了别人不同的对待我，使我感到对自己的身体不满意，而我变得越来越难过了。我渴望变瘦了，或者至少不那么胖。那时候我知道吃热量高的食物让人长胖，...
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Writing critique request: Zhou Ziwang and the revolutionary new technology
Here's the start of a short story I'm writing:
首先，大多数人强烈反对它，说人一定不要“扮演上帝”。当时他们害怕极了，对于未来的效果有关心。人性会怎么改变？人有很多批评：使用它以后，人还是人吗？用这种技术就是根本不自然的。这些论点使世界政客也反对它，而且除了世界上最伟大的科学家，谁都不允许用这种技术。
其实这只是正式的说法，...
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Is 我认为保护环境将为子孙后代保证未来 correct? Does it make sense?
我认为保护环境将为子孙后代保证未来
I am trying to say that saving the environment will guarantee a future for future generations. Does it actually mean that or have I made mistakes?
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Does 拉丁裔的女人需要工作一年到十月的二十号为了赚百男人赚的钱在前的一年 make sense?
I'm trying to write a piece about sexism, that specifically discusses the gender wage gap and how it's affected by race. The sentence I'm trying to say is
Latina women have to work until Nov. 20 in ...
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Please help me fix the grammar in a birthday letter 祝你生日快乐!!! 对不起, 让你久等了
Where do I need to fix grammar? I know for a fact something must be wrong...
于一文:
你好!
祝你生日快乐!!! 对不起, 让你久等了。祝你年年有今日，岁岁有今朝。祝万事如意。谢谢你的万事。有机会的话，大家见个面。
他不但是我的老师还是我的哥哥。
我爱你♡
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Could you please correct my sentences?
Could you please correct my text ?
虽然我会说一口流利的法语，但是我想说一口流利的汉语。
我的职业 是律师。
律师 的责任很大，因为他必须解决严重得实情。然后压力大。
可是在巴黎 律师逐渐增加。 因此招聘越来越少。
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"Aren't you both also Americans" in Chinese?
Aren't you both also Americans?
Nǐmen dōu ye bù shì měi guó rén ma?
Is it correct? I am comfortable with this word order. Is it acceptable?
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Is this email correct grammatically and structurally? 希望你一切都好。我已经学习七张纸你给我。……
Recently I have tried to become more proficient in writing emails in Chinese. The structure for these are difficult, I have provided an example of a email I recently wrote. Is this correct ...
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Is 如果我们，所有的学生，没有我们的中文老师，我们就永远不能站起来在听众前面说中文 grammatical and does it makes sense?
English:
If we, all the students, never had our teachers, we would never be able to stand and speak Chinese in front of an audience.
My variation in Chinese:
如果我们，所有的学生，没有我们的中文老师，...
2
votes
4
answers
194
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Does 与 change the meaning of 用中文与我联系不是一个好主意?
I ended up writing such a sentence, with some help of Google Translate:
用中文与我联系不是一个好主意。
I tried to say:
Contacting me in Chinese is not a good idea.
Since my Chinese is pretty basic, I was ...
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5
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What is wrong with my sentence 我的同屋睡觉时候想开屋门一点点?
I wrote this sentence:
我的同屋睡觉时候想开屋门一点点.
Wǒ de tóngwū shuìjiào shíhòu xiǎng kāi wūmén yīdiǎndiǎn.
It was meant to mean "when my roommate sleeps, they like to open the door a little". Our teacher ...
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2
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Verify/correct my sentence: 虽然 我喜欢去露营, 我不没时间去最近 还有我没有有人去跟。
I tested my simple translation skills and searched for an example English complex sentence on the internet...can someone judge my translation of this:
Although I like to go camping, I haven't had ...
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Do you mind checking my grammar in a presentation about my family?
I have to make a presentation about my family. Would you mind checking the grammar for me?
Zhè shì wo de jiā rén. Wo jiā you liu kou ren. You bàba, māma, gege, jiejie, didi he wo. Wo bàba he māma dou ...
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2
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Please critique my short story: Liǎng ge jiǎozi
I have written a short story in pinyin for a special person. As for grammar/vocab, feel free to suggest corrections. More importantly, what was your interpretation of the story? The recipient knows I ...
3
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4
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The location of my country within Europe: 我先說一下我國在歐洲中的地理位置
I started my essay with:
我先說一下我國在歐洲中的地理位置,⋯
Apparently, there are a lot of problems with this. It seems that the teacher thought my country was in Central Europe, since he changed 中 to 中部。I wanted ...
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3
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Is 青少年自殺越來越嚴重這問題完全失控 grammatically correct?
Change this sentence into a more grammatically correct version?
青少年自殺越來越嚴重這問題完全失控。
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My Chinese Story, need correction, any suggestion? [closed]
Are you guys aware of any website service or any language exchange platform where one can post their stories or essays and get them checked?
Also, below is my story, if anyone finds a very striking ...
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Help me rephrase: 相比看到子女长大成家，没有其他可以更让他们感觉放心的了
Reading the sentence below out loud felt extremely awkward, however I can't figure which part is improperly constructed to begin fixing the sentence.
相比看到子女长大成家，没有其他可以更让他们感觉放心的了。
I want to express ...
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