书名肯定不行 The book title doesn't work.
卖不出去 It won't sell well.
人比黄花 (The title comes from "人比黄花瘦.") See notes below.
文了 (literally) It's too "academic." (Only those trained in classics
would understand.)
也温了 It's also too vague. (温 means "not too hot and not too cold (lukewarm)." I think the man is trying to say that the title doesn't hit the sweet spot: it's "in-between" and needs more work.)
指向性不明 Readers don't know what you are referring to. (This line helps you understand "也温了.")
Notes on "人比黄花" (which comes from "人比黄花瘦")
From Baidu Baike
“人比黄花瘦”出自李清照前期的作品《醉花阴》,作品表面上是写深秋佳节孤独寂寞的心绪,实则表达了重阳节思念丈夫的心情。这个词语用来比喻人憔悴,暗示相思之深。
Rough translation:
人比黄花瘦 comes from a 词 (ci2) written by 李清照 (li3 qing1 zhao4). "黄花"
is "菊花", chrysanthemum. "瘦" is thin. The poet compares herself with
the flower to illustrate her weary look (because she misses her
husband dearly).
In 《新结婚时代》, after the man refused to use the title "人比黄花", the editor (girl in pink with a ponytail) joked about changing it to "地下通道的无头女尸" (headless body found in the tunnel), which is more literal and "catchy."