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I am a begginer and am trying to write something along the lines of:

Captivated by you.
I get lost in your summer smile,
and I rest in the autumn leaves of your eyes. (I am trying to say that I "rest" my gaze)

I got to this, but it seems more complicated than it needs to be. Can you help me out?
被你迷住了。我迷失在你夏日的微笑里,我停留在你眼中的秋叶里。

Neither chinese or english are my first language.

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  • do you mean "sunny smile'?
    – Tang Ho
    Commented Nov 13 at 10:02
  • I meant summer, to keep the seasons "theme" Commented Nov 13 at 13:32
  • 1
    醉心于你。那笑靥绚烂如夏花,令人失魂。那双眸澄澈似秋波,引人注目。 A bit more literary, a little less accuracy. Personally replacing autumn leaves by autumn ripple / 秋波, since 秋波 metaphorizes beauty's eye contact / 眼神 in Chinese.
    – zrsammy
    Commented Nov 13 at 14:45
  • May I ask what nationality are you? Because "lost in your summer smile, and rest in the autumn leaves of your eyes" sound "strange" even in English. Commented Nov 13 at 16:49
  • I am a native portuguese speaker Commented Nov 15 at 11:08

1 Answer 1

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These are complicated emotions, which may not be expressed in very few words!

Captivated by you.
I get lost in your summer smile,
and I rest in the autumn leaves of your eyes.

Two similar attempts, both perhaps longer than you wish:

你让我着了迷。
我沦陷在你那如夏日般明媚的笑容中,
我停歇在你那如秋天落叶般温柔的眼眸里。

我被你迷了眼。
你那如夏日般明媚的笑容让我沦陷,
你那如秋天落叶般温柔的眼眸是我停歇的港湾。

Vive l'amour!

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